A Deadbeat or Not a Deadbeat
Okay, I know this may be upsetting to some but I’m willing to debate this issue with you. I will refer to
it as “Father’s Rights.” I have often felt that child support laws victimize men in the cases of
unintended pregnancy. I never had to go through the process involving unmarried young mothers and
fathers go through today. As a purely learning exercise here, the thought of “equal” decision-making
power in the event of unintended pregnancy is actually interesting. On the surface, men are 100%
powerless in the decision to have a baby once conception has occurred. Let’s compare:
What a woman may choose:
Have the child
Abort the child
Raise the child after birth (alone or with the father)
Seek adoption for the child after birth
Abandon the child after birth
What a man may choose:
Raise the child after birth (with or separate from the mother)
Abandon the child after birth
Looking at sheer numbers, the women definitely have more options.
Often in the case of unintended pregnancy, men start counting their nickels. They may often financially
abandon both the child and the mother because they do not want the baby. I guess the argument here
is that this is “unfair” since if the mother didn’t want the baby, she could have an abortion and it would
be a “done deal.” This is a blatantly irresponsible and immature view that completely disregards a
life. I always thought the reason that child support laws are on the books is to at least attempt to
lessen the negative financial effects of a failed parental relationship on their child. What that means is
that when a parent defaults on child support, they default on the child. THAT’S WHY IT’S CALLED
CHILD SUPPORT!!!!
The problem with some men is that some argue with goal is to punish women because they have
more choices. This is simply asinine. In a blind and irresponsible reactionary fury to a feeling of
powerlessness at the time of being made aware of an unintended pregnancy, these dudes decided
to fight for the right to make their own kid(s) suffer. Wow
Maybe they don’t see it that way. Maybe their motivation is, “I give her child support money and she
spends it on everything but our child.” Well, there are two options to avoid that scenario:
1. Stay together and [at least attempt to] maintain a functional relationship
In this scenario, the money is both of you all’s anyway, so where it goes is more transparent. In no
way am I implying that the only drive to attempt to make a mother-father relationship flourish is money.
I actually think quite the opposite believing that trust and understanding can form foundations that will
overcome monetary challenges. I simply present this as an option for those who don’t want their
money “wasted.”
2. Think before you smash
The person who made the decision to get with the female was…YOU!!!!.
So what is my conclusion? Don’t drink the careless. Let’s not look for excuses to abandon
reasonable responsibilities that so many already disregard. We need to be more supportive of black
fatherhood, or fatherhood period. Nowhere should there exist a man who is jealous of his woman’s
“abundance of options.”
it as “Father’s Rights.” I have often felt that child support laws victimize men in the cases of
unintended pregnancy. I never had to go through the process involving unmarried young mothers and
fathers go through today. As a purely learning exercise here, the thought of “equal” decision-making
power in the event of unintended pregnancy is actually interesting. On the surface, men are 100%
powerless in the decision to have a baby once conception has occurred. Let’s compare:
What a woman may choose:
Have the child
Abort the child
Raise the child after birth (alone or with the father)
Seek adoption for the child after birth
Abandon the child after birth
What a man may choose:
Raise the child after birth (with or separate from the mother)
Abandon the child after birth
Looking at sheer numbers, the women definitely have more options.
Often in the case of unintended pregnancy, men start counting their nickels. They may often financially
abandon both the child and the mother because they do not want the baby. I guess the argument here
is that this is “unfair” since if the mother didn’t want the baby, she could have an abortion and it would
be a “done deal.” This is a blatantly irresponsible and immature view that completely disregards a
life. I always thought the reason that child support laws are on the books is to at least attempt to
lessen the negative financial effects of a failed parental relationship on their child. What that means is
that when a parent defaults on child support, they default on the child. THAT’S WHY IT’S CALLED
CHILD SUPPORT!!!!
The problem with some men is that some argue with goal is to punish women because they have
more choices. This is simply asinine. In a blind and irresponsible reactionary fury to a feeling of
powerlessness at the time of being made aware of an unintended pregnancy, these dudes decided
to fight for the right to make their own kid(s) suffer. Wow
Maybe they don’t see it that way. Maybe their motivation is, “I give her child support money and she
spends it on everything but our child.” Well, there are two options to avoid that scenario:
1. Stay together and [at least attempt to] maintain a functional relationship
In this scenario, the money is both of you all’s anyway, so where it goes is more transparent. In no
way am I implying that the only drive to attempt to make a mother-father relationship flourish is money.
I actually think quite the opposite believing that trust and understanding can form foundations that will
overcome monetary challenges. I simply present this as an option for those who don’t want their
money “wasted.”
2. Think before you smash
The person who made the decision to get with the female was…YOU!!!!.
So what is my conclusion? Don’t drink the careless. Let’s not look for excuses to abandon
reasonable responsibilities that so many already disregard. We need to be more supportive of black
fatherhood, or fatherhood period. Nowhere should there exist a man who is jealous of his woman’s
“abundance of options.”
My Thoughts
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“Men cannot afford to
be careless.” - Vito
Corleone
be careless.” - Vito
Corleone
| COOPER FAMILY NEWSLETTER Cooper-Dickerson-Harris-Montgomery-Anthony-Caffee-Walls-Paul |
