| COOPER FAMILY NEWSLETTER Cooper-Dickerson-Anthony-Montgomery-Caffee-Walls-Paul |
Can You Think of Ways We Can Change Kid’s Image of Themselves
Can we think of ways that we can change kids’ images of themselves? This brings the question of how our children view images of
race at a young age. If you know a little about history, you would know that this is reminiscent of the famous Doll Test that was part
of the Brown v. Board of Education case against segregation.
How do we reverse this? There has to be a way to let Black children know that Black is good and not bad. How do we do this?
Since the idea of “white being better than Black” is learned/taught like everything else that a child absorbs, we have to think about
what we are doing specifically to get Black boys and girls to think like this. With this in mind, we need to be careful what we say
and do.
Here are 3 Ways that we can Change Kids’ Images of Themselves:
1. Be careful how we talk with, talk about, and acknowledge Black people
This means cleaning up our racial conversation. This means being careful about how we say things when criticizing one another
(why do we have to say “you are a sorry excuse for a Black man” and not “sorry excuse for a man). This means no longer saying n!
gga/n!gger to one another or anyone else, especially around children [of any race]. I would bet that even if a kid did not know
what the word meant, they would know it was bad.
2. Watch what we watch, listen to what we are listening to
Pay attention to subliminal messages in our media. Look for things that are being “said without being said.” For example, take TV
shows like MTV’s The Real World. The majority of [straight] Black male characters on that show over the years have had non-Black
girlfriends. The majority of the Black female characters on that show have been highly temperamental and standoff-ish. They did
not outright say that “Black men want any woman that is not Black,” or “Black women are impossible to get along with.” The thing
is, they did not have to say it. Take BET as another example, with their insistence on pushing music videos that push ignorant
interpretations of Black masculinity and hyper-sexualized interpretations of Black femininity. They are telling you that this is what
Black folks are. Kids aren’t stupid, and if they see a bunch of [Black] men smacking around Black women on TV, they are going to
start wondering whether something is wrong with Black women. If the media that you consume is pushing this garbage, STOP
CONSUMING IT!
3. Educate young people by talking about why you love your people
I am not talking about educating through school, which of course is necessary. I am talking about educating by talking with kids.
When was the last time you as a Black man/father has told your Black son/daughter or any other Black child why you love Black
women or Black people? Black woman/mother, when was the last time you told your Black son/daughter or any other Black child
why you love Black men or Black people? We spend so much time telling kids negative stuff: don’t do this, don’t touch that, don’t
go here. Why not spend some time telling them what to do: do love your people.
Any other ideas?
Can we think of ways that we can change kids’ images of themselves? This brings the question of how our children view images of
race at a young age. If you know a little about history, you would know that this is reminiscent of the famous Doll Test that was part
of the Brown v. Board of Education case against segregation.
How do we reverse this? There has to be a way to let Black children know that Black is good and not bad. How do we do this?
Since the idea of “white being better than Black” is learned/taught like everything else that a child absorbs, we have to think about
what we are doing specifically to get Black boys and girls to think like this. With this in mind, we need to be careful what we say
and do.
Here are 3 Ways that we can Change Kids’ Images of Themselves:
1. Be careful how we talk with, talk about, and acknowledge Black people
This means cleaning up our racial conversation. This means being careful about how we say things when criticizing one another
(why do we have to say “you are a sorry excuse for a Black man” and not “sorry excuse for a man). This means no longer saying n!
gga/n!gger to one another or anyone else, especially around children [of any race]. I would bet that even if a kid did not know
what the word meant, they would know it was bad.
2. Watch what we watch, listen to what we are listening to
Pay attention to subliminal messages in our media. Look for things that are being “said without being said.” For example, take TV
shows like MTV’s The Real World. The majority of [straight] Black male characters on that show over the years have had non-Black
girlfriends. The majority of the Black female characters on that show have been highly temperamental and standoff-ish. They did
not outright say that “Black men want any woman that is not Black,” or “Black women are impossible to get along with.” The thing
is, they did not have to say it. Take BET as another example, with their insistence on pushing music videos that push ignorant
interpretations of Black masculinity and hyper-sexualized interpretations of Black femininity. They are telling you that this is what
Black folks are. Kids aren’t stupid, and if they see a bunch of [Black] men smacking around Black women on TV, they are going to
start wondering whether something is wrong with Black women. If the media that you consume is pushing this garbage, STOP
CONSUMING IT!
3. Educate young people by talking about why you love your people
I am not talking about educating through school, which of course is necessary. I am talking about educating by talking with kids.
When was the last time you as a Black man/father has told your Black son/daughter or any other Black child why you love Black
women or Black people? Black woman/mother, when was the last time you told your Black son/daughter or any other Black child
why you love Black men or Black people? We spend so much time telling kids negative stuff: don’t do this, don’t touch that, don’t
go here. Why not spend some time telling them what to do: do love your people.
Any other ideas?
I Love My People
Why I Love My People
You know what I hate sometimes? It is when people think they’ve reached a point in their life that they forget their roots. And
you know what I’m talking about, the ones who get a little education, whether it’s from a school of higher learning or a
spiritual education. All of a sudden they have a ready answer for any and all of the ills that affect other people. But what I
fear sometimes is that in all our intellectuality (yes that is a word and an example of the terminology you often find in those
high-minded people) we forget the basic things that make us love and appreciate one another.
We have a history together, we ate the same foods, we slept in the same bed, shared so many things. We also have
overcome extraordinary circumstances, lived in the projects, ate the nasty cheese, ate the mayonnaise sandwiches, and
drank the koolaid without sugar. Sat up all night playing cards, challenged one another to basketball games at 2am and went
out and shoveled the snow off the court, just to prove a point. This history sustains me and is a constant source of my
inspiration.
I miss those times, but I love the memory of those times.
I grew up in the soft hood on the eastside of Pittsburgh, initially living on Hillcrest Street. In 1969 moved into the Garfield
Projects, Fern Street off of Schenley Avenue. I didn’t go to private school because my parents couldn’t afford it. So to all my
older brothers and sisters I grew up with and looked up to, thank you for not letting me get caught up in foolishness. You are
part of the reason I am where I am, and the person I am today. Thank you again.
It’s amazing how we used to talk to each other without talking and knew exactly what the other person was saying.
I always chuckle when I think about the things we used to do together. We would walk to Highland Park to go swimming.
And as I mentioned earlier playing cards all night. I used to think God must have invented Spades on the seventh day of
creating the world, when he was chillin’ because I can’t think of any other game that brought us together like Spades. And let
me give a special shout out to my people who don’t re-nig.
So now back to reality and where I am today. I must have done something to piss everyone off. Well those who I thought I
was close to, the ones who I grew up with, the ones who I shared so many things with. Everyone has grown up and gone
their own/separate ways. Very few of us communicate with one another, let alone spend any amount of time together.
Everyone is so busy living their lives (at least that is the excuse people give me). Whether it be a birthday, a graduation, a
wedding, or a death in the family, people always find a reason not to see one another. Not to worry, I won’t be upset if you
don’t come to my funeral. I won’t know it, I’ll be dead and I wouldn’t know that you’re there or not anyway. If you do come,
don’t stand over my casket crying or talking to me, I won’t hear you. If you want me to know something, tell me now while I
can hear you and share that moment with you. Life is short and there is no need to hold on to those petty grudges. No need
to think too highly of yourself, you’re still the same person. Yes I know where all your skeletons are, maybe that is what
scares you and prevents you from showing your face. But show your face, it’s okay. Your skeletons are safe with me and
don’t be afraid of your past. Your past is a part of your present, how else could you reflect on how far you have come? Just
don’t repeat the pass, we all make mistakes. I’m not here to judge you. I’m here to be supportive of you, to laugh with you
and to cry with you, to be there when you need a shoulder to cry on.
I miss my brothers, my sisters, my nieces, my nephews, and my cousins, I miss my family. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to
show your face at a wedding, a family reunion, a funeral, or just showing up at my doorstep. You are always welcome at my
home, no prior appointments needed. Love my family, I could go and on but sometimes, you just have to say it plain.
But I want you to know I love my people, wouldn’t trade you for anything in the world. Lets GO!!!!
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VOLUME III ISSUE XXVI MAY 2012
| Mr. & Mrs. Lorne S. Walls Married on May 5, 2012 Winston-Salem, North Carolina |
He that is causing the
upright ones to go
astray into he bad
way will himself fall
into his own pit, but
the faultless ones
themselves will come
into possession of
good.—Proverbs 28:
10
upright ones to go
astray into he bad
way will himself fall
into his own pit, but
the faultless ones
themselves will come
into possession of
good.—Proverbs 28:
10
Publisher/Editor: Kevin Paul
